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(no subject) [Aug. 2nd, 2009|02:06 pm]
 baby if they ask me.
i would say I dont even know your name.
and when they ask me:
does it change?
no it dont change a thing.
cause its something about the way you love me.
and its something about the way you know me.
that I cant explain enough.
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temporarily. [Jul. 10th, 2009|07:30 pm]
 beautiful things are never meant t be mine. 

i probably will get t own them, but they will never genuinely be mine.

and after the initial contentment, you'd have fallen deeper then you were. 

the feeling of devastation that grinds on the raw side of your heart. 

there must be something wrong with me. since this has always been happening in repetition. i must be losing myself in frustration. 

TGIF. tday has been a rather mundane day.

pretty lost about econs. i'll barely pass i hope. sometimes i dont even know what i'm doing. gp's still full of crap. i have the world's worst gp teacher. he doesn't even practise any teacher values. and school ended on a low note. 

it must be the weather. it has to be. 

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(no subject) [Jun. 28th, 2009|07:27 pm]
 just had mom's cooking. the first in probably, 8 months. it was awesome.
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(no subject) [Jun. 23rd, 2009|09:29 pm]
 just finished reading a rather, boring, book. i think the author wrote it in some rush fer a deadline his editor gave or sth, because it has no plot whatsoever, it's rather immature, and being immature, it still does not captivates (this i am sure) young teens . sigh! i want t join a book club, on a contrary t what everybody else thinks. and i seriously need t complete my novel. at least now i have an inkling on why writers take ages t finish a book. and i may need t expand my storyline t some trilogy but i'm such an amateur at this is sucks t think of writing a trilogy. you start comparing yourself t tamora pierce and nora roberts and zomfg, you feel so tiny. like singapore vs USA. rarrrrr. 

library these few days. lit retreat on thursday. 

i think i need t go fer fat camp. i feel myself getting fatter . 

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bogus. [Jun. 19th, 2009|06:18 pm]
 do you know how absurd it sounds when a librarian walks up t you and say

' studying in the library is banned from tmr onwards. you can only read from now on.'

reading as a form of pleasure, most people do at home. 

reading texts fer research and the damn exams, are reasons why libraries are available in the first place. 

ohmygosh, yes librarian, some sort of analactical processing has definitely have t go through your pea-sized brain before you actually announce the most ridiculous statement to commuters of the national library. 

yes librarian, in your world, people are blind, the world is stupid, and you're wonder woman.


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thursday blues. [Jun. 18th, 2009|08:26 pm]
a straight 3 hours of studying. that's pretty much it. sigh! at least vietnam , burma and malaya are closer t me now. they better stay that way. if not i'll go bomb the islands fer what is worth. RARR.

bry jack damien nic jx came over tday. didn't manage t wake up t nic's call at 8 plusplus am. ahh they didn't do alot at the gym anyway. 

somehow my house is never productive. not even once. i mean, you just start fantasizing, like a huge mansion, glassy walls, finger-padded rooms, libraries filled with thousands of books. an actual study room , audio speakers; one hail , the next moment your food is served wherever you are. okay shit, aunt flo and jonathan has that. wicked shit i tell ya. 

i'm gna own one of those houses in the future. 

its a thought. paradise on earth. a damn freaking good thought.
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shenn on rant. [Jun. 16th, 2009|03:01 pm]
 i should really stop waking up at 12 or 1-ish. it's driving me nuts. god knows how many of you out there have told me i'm gna have a weird clocktime when sch reopens. school reopens. rarr i already hate that thought. i am starting t think of me being a drama queen over everything in a sense that even i myself find myself ignorant and particularly annoying most of the time. 

maybe its's because of all the big fiascos that's been happening. and t think i'm not already ugly enough, with my big ass and singly eyelids (yesyesyes major fcukup) okay major fcukups actually happen because fer 

1. on side A,  1 person fcuks up.
2. on side B, person fcuks up.
3. both sides fcuk up.
4. external factors let's say screwups themselves fcuk everything up fer side A and B. 
5.or when nobody clears up rubbish and vomit and we go on a wild rampage fer a hellish long period of time. 

my life revolves around majoy fcukups these days. and everyone gets utterly washed out and drained over it. 

Life should just be about the kind of sappy fictional films you see in cinemas fer once. 

then major fcukups will Always have a happy ending. 

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a thousand times of love love love. [Jun. 14th, 2009|05:00 pm]
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Hoho so i'm eighteen. it sparks of a revelation in some ways doesn't it. like some metamorphosis of a butterfly. nahh, that happens when i turn 21. but still, its a big woah.
11th of june i had a great time in a chalet with a few of my dearest friends in the world. i got slammed by most of the guys. Including razak. i swear my boobs were flattened even more than they are now rarrr. i came early with bry and jack. since the others all had classes. i thank all of you fer compromising t the date set. and t be there with me t pass off this big day of mine. <3



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haha! thanks fer the rather big diapers. sheesh even my mom laughed her arse off at it. and seriously, MY ASS AINT THAT BIG RARR. i had alot of fun and i wouldn't have wanted t spend it any other way. ;D hoho, nic learnt how t cycle, bry's flighty while blading, we woke up at 5am fer nth because the sun rised from the other side from where we were (some epic fail). had a fair amount of tekken, cake smashing, blading, laughter and joy.

i received 4 pairs of underwears. zomfg j.kong and celisse gave me this red hot sexy number ftw. slut soap from syafiq and fel. lolll. thanks lizhong and co, fer the really epic looking lamp. thanks booon fer a really pretty momento box <3 love it loads, lohyee fer awesome goodwoodparkhotel's durian puffs zomfg yesyesyes, kjq and d fer the book of listography its really useful ;D, dom fer cookies and a great book by john green <3, shawn fer his. disc of what-not -.-, qianting's mystery present (hahah <333333) , and jiacheng's surprises thanks dude :) . thanks t everyone fer turning up and yes, fer the 2 awesome cakes. ;D


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yesterday's blast of a birthday was spent with my dearest mates ;D flea market zomfg at the f1 building! i wished i brought more moneyy! all the blogshops were basically having a sale of clothes shoes and accessories fer under 25 bucks. hahahhaaha, had a great time scouting, but i didnt think it was enough t be honest! hohoho. wman sold her polaroid and bought a new camera so similar t bry's. awesome quality. so tempting t get one myself . 


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thanks t jeanne fer her homemade maademia nut brownie. awesome. who would've thought that jeanne actually baked and was successful LOL.


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<3 veron fer her photobook zomfg lovely. its so nostalgic looking at it! 

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HAHAHA wman and val fer their cheesepie. cheated cause val's aunt made it! but it's delicious. like wooot. 


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went over t astons fer dinner. didnt drink in the end, went t the arcade t waste some money gees all those no lifers hogging a particular game fer hours. What are they. gosh maybe they're even saving up t buy the freaking machine. hog all you want buzzers. 

i brought mom's chanel's bag out that day. i came home with a few scratches on it. =X and acted as if i didnt know a single thing about it.
lesson: never t bring a chanel bag t a flea market. 

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Change. [Jun. 7th, 2009|03:15 pm]
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This date last year i was at ecp with this bunch of people. I received the best diary\journal as a present.
i miss blading. sigh! next week is coming though ;D and im pretty looking forward t blading again. and more tekken tekken tekken. HAHA.

well this year, im at home because its raining and we can't go swimming. the people in the photo are probably studying, or enjoying themselves somewhere someplace.im not in major contact with most of em alrdy. yes im feeling pretty weird and woozy now.

talking t er now. meeting up with her next friday i miss her like zomfg x1000. rarrr.

hope ahboon's doing fine.

im stoning. im bored t tears. i need more entertainment.

RARRR :(

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haha i love this photo because of my hair. haahahhahaa. okay random.


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exclass. its just wasted because damien did a really gd job on this. i wished it wasnt just a file photo or sth.
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crack; pot; estacy; [Jun. 5th, 2009|10:38 pm]
 Huge, Crazy obession over tekken 6.
what has the arcade done t you hmm. 
addiction. so seductive and coy. 

met up with jeanne tday. went crazy talking bout sales. spent a rather unproductive day at starbucks oh yes with notes and befuzzlled minds. 

i couldnt take it anymore so i called damien up fer tekken6 at clementi rarrrr. yes spent 10 over coins Only on tekken6. it's my current crack. 

someone or something. please lead me to salvation zomfg. 



visions so insane 
travelling, unravelling through my brain
he's a puzzle to solve.
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Val's 18. [Jun. 1st, 2009|10:56 pm]
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6 years and still going strong :) i'm grateful. whatever anyone says i'm still grateful t have this bikering assholific bunch of animals by my side. ;D

val's celebration on friday was held at mine's. emet up with wman t get her choco fondue as a bday surprise nyahaa. i was missing fer the first part of it mainly cause of a sprained ankle. (yes very annoyed over it since its the start of the hols) but ahh its healing, probably swimming tmr. 

zomfg hvnt updated this blog fer so long; and frankly speaking i dont really wna close this down since i've been ranting out on here fer a couple of years alrdy. 

kind of joining the fervent craze over boy before flowers and i think im some swagu or sth since the whole world's alrdy done with it rarrr. 

#1 days spent with ah'09 are blissful moments.
#2 exercise regime starts 
#3 june hols gatherings gatherings gatherings gatherings
#4 18th birthday driving license butter factory borders jobhunt. 

til nextime ;D

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(no subject) [May. 17th, 2009|01:03 am]
 i think im closing this blog soon since im ot using it very much anymore. hahahahaaaa 


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in a house of mirrors [May. 3rd, 2009|03:07 pm]
 im getting a new phone! lg renoir like finally woot. 

may brings about a whole lot more than i can handle.

life became more complicated and yes its hard to put two and two together. 

but i definitely can handle everything thats coming at me. 

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a picturesque sunset. [Apr. 8th, 2009|09:07 am]
since i hvnt been here fer at least a month i shall actually start updating stuff about my daily life happenings. school's cool. cept fer my record of being late fer 3 times alrdy, and then there's me, skipping school fer at least once a week since classes started fer me. zomfg, i was supposed t break this chain this week, but goodness knows why i woke up at 8 tday. sigh!

i will definitely be a gd student and stop skipping classes. the guilt's coming up, i feel frustrated and i think im sinking into some mindset that tells me im the Really Big X ms aw's been talking about during lessontime. 

jogging with nic yesterday fer a full 2 hr session. and i reached home all stinky and sweaty. and still bumped onto the bed and slept like some pig. technically, im still in my uniform. but im heading fer a shower soon! rarr!

daily banters with bryant jack and jiaxin, and anges is gna be staying at mine's til friday! ;D i somehow think that im being a bad influence t her. =/ but shennn you should totally buck up. god knows how much you cant grasp literature :( 

sam and i have been talking. and zomg? we actually share the same sentiments. like how it'll never be like old times, or how you'd ever find any needle in the haystack because there's not a single worth mentioning. maybe fer me there's a few i can mention, however that's just the plus point out of all the bad points in the world. 

sigh, shenn you need t get your momentum back and stop skipping lessons like a fool. 
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end of mar hol's 09 [Mar. 22nd, 2009|03:59 pm]
so tday marks the last day of the mar hols! :(

time seems t pass by really quickly when you're having so much fun.

so monday was at school t finish up the fam video fer orientation camp memoirs. i do miss the orientation prep times. :)holds so much memories really. then headed off t meet up with irving! t get euminl her present before attending her partay. met up with mabelline, anna, gerald, chilung,ewe. somehow everyone still looks the same. hahaha! then saw lukegoh by the entrance of the function room and screamed. hahhahaha! its amazing how at certain points in time you meet people at the most unexpected places.
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euminl is love. :D

tuesday was spent in jj, overseeing line camp. it was weird looking back at the camp as a senior. then you find all the flaws you would've made as an amateur a year back, yet you didnt feel as if you made that much mistakes. hahaha. highlight was si ian. he dances really well too, among other things. zomg. no wonder girls i know fall fer him. hahaha! stayed back with bry,jack,jiaxin,razak,chingkit,jiacheng,faizal t play with helium balloons. awesome. caught a cockraoch on the way out of school and heard lohyee scream. HAHA.

sleepover on wednesday at mines! bry and jiaxin came in he morning t do work. haha! and bry only managed t complete a page of the whole thing. damien came over t help jiaxin with the vid. it turned out really well! ;D jack, nic, hooikim, anges turned up next and started playing cards. eventful night. went fer prata, passed by justin's and decided t wake him up at 3am. HEEH. had a failed attempt of trying to pop a coke bottle by inserting mentos. sigh! had mahjong, then sang k with hooikim, damien and justin til 7am.and zomg, justin sings really well! ahaha! i hope he joins talentime. ;D

thursday sleepover's at xianghui's. LOL. anges was practically dead halfway through slumdog millionaire. stood jacky up fer an hr gosh. im so sorry about it. :( cabbed over, met up with jacky and jiacheng. anges came awhile later. and waited fer garrick at the pet shop! bruder came in the end! hahaha! he had this failblog.org site which was superrrrrrrrrrrrrr epic. watched disaster movie. HAHA. you'd turn stupid watching it zomfg. but the girl's prettay. not as prettay as megan foxx but still ;Dso in the end everyone else KO-ed cept fer jiacheng and i. searched stupid vids on my macair. alot of great movies are coming up. i freaking want t watch mall cop and fanboys. and power rangers : the movie's coming out LOL.

emo-ed with garrick before failling aslp. he should have more confidence of himself. ;D

gamer's outing yesterday. made a mess in seoulgarden. HAHA. cracked 7 eggs into the hotplate. boiled an egg and put em back on the counter. fried loads of lalas. played the number game. saw jeremy and jieheng do really stupid things. headed off t the class bbq! had an awesome time with em. esp jiajin. camwhore buddies! ;D HAHA. cant wait fer the photos! horny bitch! ahahah! left with davita and kennedy. walked home from bb mrt because i felt like it.

i only woke up at 3am tday. supposed t be an wcp with bry jack and jiaxin now. however im going t celebrate mom's bday later. pondering if i should still leave the house now.

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of nostalgia and revelations. [Mar. 16th, 2009|10:47 pm]
[Current Mood | depressed]
[Current Music |white houses- vanessa carlton]

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HAPPY 18TH CHANWANTING :)


the march holidays have been so packed that its hard t find anytime t myself or any other hobby fer that matter. i miss sitting in my quiet room reading my favourite novels over and over til i could actually memorise some parts of it. or maybe just watching friends with aimee while sleeping over. rarrr. 

IT fair was a dig. i thank damien fer telling me about it. HAHA. i am so bloody satisfied with my buys. freaking cheap? and im blasting my 49 bucks high qality speakers right now ;D 

tday was seemingly pleasant, witnessed the line camp taking place. the campers are such cute lil kids zomg. did up the fam msg , then headed off t meet irving t get wine fer euminl bitch. <3 rarr! chased bry and jack aound the sch like nuts and i cant believe i actually believed them about the video where i dug my nose and scratched my armpits while i was sleeping! RARR. in the end it was some prank they played. but i got back at the alright heeh. a rather satisfying thrill ;D feeling a lil guilty and sry but its worth the while! rarr! its been a long time since i saw euminl, she's doing fine as usual. hahaha! so didnt catch the movie with jc tday since fm msg ended late oh well! i feel a lil bad but it'll be okay.  i went t euminl's basically t have dinner curry blabla. LOL. then i had t go off alrdy :( going over in the morning t say happy birthday! hahaha! ;D

crashing LINE tmr. and jj nite. borrowing wini's jj leader's tee. i miss that girl and mel :( alot! since i dont see them as often now ! 

been spending alot of time with bry jack nic and jiaxin. they're becoming one of my closer bunch of asstards in school these days ;D im grateful fer such blessed friends. ;DD ASSHOLE GANG '09 HAHA. j1 life is actually alot more brighter with them in the picture :) i can't see myself , totally mingling with this new batch somehow.they strike me as a very rigid bunch of people. not at all welcoming in some kind of unwarm way. of course there are nice people around, but its like the minority really. =/ oh well, we're in college t study. so we shouldnt care too much.

ive been spending too much time daydreaming about stuff that could never happen. would never begin and will never change. i've been mesmerised, i dont know how, and it sucks t know that youre on the losing end of things, that youre the one fretting and thinking too much into it, you seem t want it t happen but its never happening. so you do everything you can t make yourself believe that it's actually  progressing up that line you;ve significantly drawn up fer yourself but ultimately? you fail oh-so-terribly. its like this line ive seen from aimee's blog, from grey's anatomy,

"No matter how hard we try to ignore or deny it, eventually the lies fall away, like it or not. But here's truth about the truth.

It Hurts.

So we lie." - Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo), Grey's Anatomy. 

im gna look forward, and stop feeling sore, im gna face this problem and mybe it'll actually make me feel alot more relieved than i was before. :) 

i miss jeanne and co. and i miss anges. 

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The sky so high, the bird shit in your eye. [Mar. 9th, 2009|10:07 pm]
Tdy is one of those days where i practically laughed my arse off. 

yesterday i had a really unproductive afternoon with bryant and jack, training 6 pacs. we were in the library goofing off with the mac. please go t facebook and look at all the unglam shots wth! even the guy sitting across the hall was laughing! rarr! 

went t jp with anges and bought the baby-g watch tday! and realised its yellow instead of green. but its actually really nice! ;D goofed off in class and i think that mr goon is utterly hopeless. 

skipped pc, stayed back in school and crapped around while waiting fer anges t complete her banni chalking. jx and i had a cheap thrill :) lohyee and i made a fool out of ourselves outside of school. dom's still orchid park. im So wearing the tsunami tee during the rono camp! HAHAA. ANGES IS THE ONE WHO WON'T SHUT UP. HAHAHHA.

im still stumbling over the econs assignment. everyone thinks it's a piece of cake. sigh! sport's day, face painting day! :D netball prata day! gosh! i miss those girls :( 

desmy's gna come back t school soon! heeeh! <3 
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(no subject) [Mar. 3rd, 2009|11:17 pm]
 school's been cool. maybe cause its still march, term 1 or something. so homework and all. first test on thursday! sports heats has been fun,

ZOMFG IM LIKE TURNING INTO JEREMY'S NO. 1 FAN. HAHA. he's bloody freaking fast pls! like a lap faster than the last 2 people fer 1500m. and a lap faster than the 2nd person fer 5000m. ive been marvelling over him zomg. 

mr ng's blamed me fer the wrong reasons tday and im afraid that ive alrdy gotten into his bad books. gosh. itsnot as if i didnt line them up properly or anything. but they moved. and i alrdy did the lining and everything beforehand . but oh well, no use fighting it out with him over it. 

proud of davita and shanice tday. ;D fer the 3km run. they were awesome. ;D

ran with nic thereafter. managed t finish 5.5 rounds before the stadium closed. awesome person . :)


they say love makes you feel lighthearted. sure it makes your heart beat faster, and maybe you feel as though you're in heaven fer a while. then you see bitterness and a soft longing if it is ever unequited.

then you feel sore. and bloody hell, like 'why did i ever end up in this state?'
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(no subject) [Feb. 25th, 2009|11:44 pm]

i should stop skipping lessons til the A level results are out. its not reflecting any good on my peers nor is it on myself. rarr! and my tchers are definitely taking more notice of me than before. milo trilathon! i should train. what with this bloody cold and fever! :( whatever the case, im running tmr evening!

and HAHA, i have a free lift t sch every morning til october :D thanks t justin who stays a short distance away. i never knew! gosh. i suddenly feel like some swagu. LOL.

went t bugis yesterday, to art friend with hongyu, qt, anges and xianghui. i skipped chinese. the tcher told shanice t drag me back but i practically blew her off! :( sorry!  i still skipped in the end, and am awaiting my death sentence that will probably be handed out next week.

i feel myself immersing into alot of singlish and vulgarities lately. i should brush up on my english! rarr!



like how there are a dozen different butterflies flittering to you at one point. you can never take in the complexity of a whole picturesque in one breath-taking sight.

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(no subject) [Feb. 22nd, 2009|10:50 pm]
anges came tday. swimming with jacky got postponed due to the ikljhlisjdglijrt rain.

and decorated our pencilboxes. heeh. then ate delivery fer our last gd meal before the outrageous diet plan is initiated tmr. played bingo watched a sappy episode on channel 8 painted nails and poking around being spastic. ahahhahahaha. <333

a great day!

then i went t run, and saw a dog frisking about on its own in the middle of a field. spooky. and ran all the way back. not much of a run really! sch starts tmr, trg fer the milo trilathon with anges si ian and jiaquan. wootwoot.

<3  my life. ;D
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